urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:davida_rumble Davida Rumble Davida Rumble 2009-01-10T22:40:52Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:davida_rumble:15438 2009-01-10T22:40:52Z 2009-01-10T22:40:52Z my life is in slow motion. im walking... i breath.... i feel myself in motion ... but where am i going? <br /><br />im not depressed. but im not happy. idk how to describe this emotion... it is a jumble of feelings. i am disapointed, restless, bored, regretful, and unmotivated.... a list of words i am not used to using to describe myself ... nor an enjoyable set of charcteristics. <br /><br />i would much rather feel hopeful, strong willed, excited, motivated and proactive. ... instead im laying on my mom's couch watching the ravens vs&nbsp;titans game. ... i guess that would normally make me happy, i enjoy watching the ravens play... but i am not interested in the events this evening. .... i want to know why.<br /><br />im at&nbsp;a loss for what this winterbreak i am given is to be used for. i have two weeks left and i have nothing to show for it except getting drunk and attempting to convince myself this will be a better year than the last.... when truly i can not see how that would be possible.<br /><br />im broke... i need new clothes. work is slow... and im begining to dispise it. i want more!!! i need something else.... im waiting...<br /><br />..... go ravens! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:davida_rumble:12303 2008-05-10T09:17:39Z 2008-05-10T09:17:39Z <p>truth. the truth is i left his condo smiling. truth is .... he is exactly what i need. truth is i spent&nbsp; 10pm-330am watching xfiles laying on a couch with the cutest guy i have ever seen. truth is he doesnt even know how amazing he is. truth is... i want to show him.<br /><br /></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:davida_rumble:11460 2008-03-20T18:28:30Z 2008-03-20T18:28:30Z &nbsp;some times we find things in people we do not like.... because they are too much like ourselves. i personally do not mind it... but maybe after last night you will take a second to look inside yourself and realize your not so innocent. all i can do at this point is laugh. i&nbsp;DID feel bad... in fact i felt terrible... until i realized you were even more guilty than&nbsp;i was. and so my guilt has blown away with the heavy winds of last night, then i fell into a peaceful sleep... i just hope you&nbsp;did as well. there is nothing else to say except for the fact that i was right all along. im not a bad person and neither are you. but i WAS right about how you feel about me. sorry your feelings fell short and that you couldnt realize that in reality you changed and hung me out 2 dry with all your OTHER dirty laundry.&nbsp;<br /><br /><br />its 230pm...&nbsp;i need a beer urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:davida_rumble:10826 2008-03-10T02:51:48Z 2008-03-10T02:51:48Z <p>i feel like im in a battle. the stable me vs 13 yr&nbsp;old dayna whos screaming n kicking on the floor. i feel like someone has just raped me. grabbed me by the back of the head&nbsp;n throws me&nbsp;onto the&nbsp;floor. clothes are torn off and im laying naked, back against the floor, with a knife at my throat. and this undesirable cock&nbsp;slides into my pussy. and im fucking crying but it&nbsp;doesnt stop...&nbsp;my metephorical cock for life is fucking me ....&nbsp;<br /><br /><br /><br />im ready to say fuck it all. i dont know when living became so fucking hard. idk when just existing was so exhausting. idk when i cried last before tonight.&nbsp;<br /><br />im tired of feeling so fucking alone. like no matter how loud i scream .... no one will ever hear me. and i dont give a fuck if im difficult. i can do what ever the fuck i want. im the one whos fucked up in the head. im the one who is ....<br /><br /><br /><br />im a mess.... and all i want is understanding. if i act selfish ..... let me be selfish. people that know the real me will know that this is not the real me right now, they know how 2 take care of a beatin up little kid.... i sure as hell am one right now. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>im so pathetic how weak i am right now. FUCK YOU ALL FUCK YOU ALL FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]<br /><br />you fucking bastards! i hate you all. fuck off and kill yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im not discriminating against n e one.... everyone go fucking kill yourself!</p><p>i think im gana do something drastic. .... something secret.... n&nbsp;fucking terrible.<br /><br /><br /></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:davida_rumble:10021 2008-02-12T19:32:57Z 2008-02-12T19:32:57Z "Who you are today is a product of what you did yesterday. Who you are tomorrow is a product of what you did today...make every second count."<br /><br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br />''Anyways'' <div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>people are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered</div><div>love them anyway</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>if you do good things, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives</div><div>do good anyways</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>if you are successful you win false friends and true&nbsp;enemies</div><div>succeed anyway</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>the good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow</div><div>do good anyway</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>honesty and frankness make you vulnerable</div><div>be honest and frank anyway</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>people favor underdogs but follow only top dogs</div><div>fight for some underdogs anyway</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>what you spend years building may be destroyed over night</div><div>build anyway</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>people really need help but may attack you if youhelp them</div><div>help people anyway</div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:davida_rumble:9421 2008-02-06T13:02:17Z 2008-02-06T13:02:17Z <p>i am only here to make you smile. lets be happy. lets be ourselves..... every moment. im ready. im ready to laugh</p>